


A Terrible Idea

by anawesomeblossom



Category: Shall We Date?: Love Tangle
Genre: Alcohol, Cheating, Cruise Ships, Drinking & Talking, Explicit Language, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:00:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23245897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anawesomeblossom/pseuds/anawesomeblossom
Summary: Rami and Cornelius share a drink one night aboard the Starling Kaleido where many things are said, but nothing is as important as what is left unsaid.
Relationships: Cornelius Cruz/Main Character, Rami Zaza/Cornelius Cruz
Kudos: 3





	A Terrible Idea

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Cornelius's Vicious story in the spin-off Personalities as well as northernscruffycat on Tumblr's commentary on Rami and Cornelius's main routes because, believe it or not, I would not have put the two together without reading both of these. This piece can be implied to have occurred in the Vicious Personality timeline before the Starling Kaleido docks and he narrowly avoids being shanked by MC (who is referred to in this story as her default name, Julia Darwin).

Four knocks on the door to the captain's quarters was all the warning he had before Rami loudly shouted from the other side, "HEY CORNELIUS, OPEN UP!" and then kicked the door once.

Unlike a certain someone, Cornelius had been actually  _ working _ even as late in the night as it was, busy checking weather reports and comparing them to the Starling Kaleido's course one more time before heading off to sleep. However, Rami's hopeful intrusion had him lunging toward the door in a mad race to put an end to the loud voice that could, and most certainly  _ would _ , draw the attention of a guest out for a midnight stroll - or worse, a  _ staff _ member. He swung the door open with surprising force and came face to face with Rami holding up two glasses and an unbearably bright grin.

"Hey, yo-"

" _ Get inside! _ "

Cornelius pulled him by the arm into his quarters and then shut the door behind them in a decidedly more delicate manner than how it was opened. "Honestly," he began what Rami knew would be a tirade out of embarrassment, "you could have done anything else in the world to get my attention but  _ that _ . You know your pounding and hollering is going to draw attention, and especially so late at night you know it's going to be the  _ wrong _ type of attention. You kn--"

"But would I have gotten  _ your _ attention?" Rami interrupted with his grin still plastered on as he set the glasses down on a table and began to rummage through what he knew to be the liquor cabinet. To Cornelius's disbelief, he brought out a bottle of vodka immediately and continued to search.

The answer was  _ no _ , and Cornelius knew they both were aware of it so he decided to drop the subject. Instead, he remarked, "Did you  _ really _ bring your own drinkware? Surely you know I have my own you can use..."

"No, no, look at them," Rami responded, eyes still scanning the cabinet. He seemed to be weighing his options. "Hey, you got any juice?"

"There's orange juice...and I believe some cranberry juice left as well."

Rami laughed as the information delighted him. "You drinking on the waters after all? Nobody drinks cranberry juice alone without alcohol."

Rolling his eyes, Cornelius returned as he moved to inspect the glasses, "No, it's been leftover since the last time you had one of your... _ visits _ ."

"Oh," he said as he paused with a bottle of peach schnapps in hand, "oh yeah!" He set it on the table with the vodka and glasses. "Man, I hope it's not expired..."

"I haven't looked." It was a dry acknowledgment as if he hadn't cared at all, though that wasn't the case. No, if Cornelius genuinely hadn't cared it's doubtful he would have recalled it in the first place. "Look," he continued, "I know you want to drink, but I've got an early morning tomorrow with a busy day, and--"

Rami's interruption came as he went to the small kitchen and brought out both juices, "You're always busy. ...Did you look at the glasses? I got them at the last port of call. There's one for me and one for you. Choose whichever one is your favorite."

"Really..." Both glasses were rather kitschy and borderline obscene so he picked up the least offensive of the two, a highball glass with a regional slogan and pair of scantily covered breasts on one side. "I suppose this one. If anyone peeks inside my cupboard I can at least laugh it off."

"You don't like the prescription one that implies you're an alcoholic?"

Once again, and certainly not for the last time that night, Cornelius rolled his eyes. "Not in the least bit."

"Well, I thought it was funny."

"You're also a terrible person."

He wasn't, but Rami laughed all the same. "Anyway," he implored, "just have  _ one _ drink with me. I know you've got an early morning but one drink won't kill ya. It'll get you to sleep faster. See, I'm  _ saving _ you, I'm--"

" _ One _ ," he cut off, emphasizing his self-imposed rule. "So, what are you making?"

"Sex on the Beach."

"You know that's a terrible idea."

And Rami laughed hard enough that Cornelius feared the engineer or someone would overhear. It was a laugh that wouldn't nearly have been as funny if it weren't for prior experience. "A...terribly  _ delicious _ idea," he finally spat out.

Once again, the captain rolled his eyes and suppressed a laugh that otherwise may have been difficult to contain. Composure was a hard thing to come by at times but damn if he didn't try.

He didn't say anything but Rami went right to work with a shaker and practiced motions. Both cranberry and orange juice were doled out in equal parts and presented in both boobs and pill glasses for their enjoyment, and Rami took the initiative and held out his glass for Cornelius to clink against in a toast: "To never having sex on the beach again."

"... _ What? _ " was his response accompanied by a laugh while Rami downed half his cocktail at once. Of course, Cornelius would be slower with his, choosing to savor the concoction as it was the only one he would have, and took a sip to appraise the adventurer's work. "Mm, not bad. Definitely better than the real thing." He raised an eyebrow, though, when Rami polluted his with a bit more vodka.

For once it was Rami's turn to roll his eyes but neither of them spoke about it. Instead, he sat down leisurely and kicked up his feet onto the large dining table, precisely because he knew how much it irritated his companion, and gave a large, satisfied sigh: "This is the life, isn't it?" 

It wasn't, and both of them knew it, but once again it would be one of the many things between them that were left unsaid.

"You act as if you don't have an upcoming lecture."

"Well, it's not  _ now _ ," Rami retorted, waving his hand in an exaggerated motion. "I mean, it's not even tomorrow! You're too serious."

"On the ship? Yes, of course,  _ I am _ . I have to be," came Cornelius's dull response, as if it was a standard reply to a common complaint between the two - which it was.

Rami immediately went into a double finger gun gesture and teased suggestively, "But Cornelius on land... I mean  _ work hard, play hard _ , am I right?"

"...Not anymore, I suppose." In a certain sense, it was true for many reasons, but when Rami's expression fell he added, "Just because all my time on land is devoted to  _ her _ ."

"That's still playing hard! Don't make it sound like you're miserable ashore."

"Sorry, that wasn't my intention. It's bliss, honestly."

As Rami finished his glass and went to work on fixing himself another, he blurted seemingly out of the blue as if it was naturally the right time and level of  _ mutual _ inebriation for such a thing: 

"So...you gonna marry her?"

Cornelius paused briefly but answered in the same intonation as talking about the weather, "Probably."

Immediately Rami set a bottle down on the table louder than it needed to be and shook the shakers more robustly this time. " _ Probably? _ ...Cornelius, she is the  _ best damn thing _ to ever happen to you, and if your life with her isn't kittens and rainbows then  _ I _ will marry her and be happy instead!" 

It was a strange threat but Cornelius only looked at his glass, half-empty with sex on the beach as its only memory. "You're reading too much into things," he began and tried to hide how desperately he wanted Rami off his back for this topic; one drink just wasn't enough for that. "I love her so much, but it's been a long day - and tomorrow's going to be longer. Honestly, I'm thinking about the ship and my passengers right now, not the ring I want you to help me design for her..."

This was the first Rami had heard of this obvious distraction, but he nodded because that was respectable. It was understandable. Also, he was included. Rami stuck his index finger out at the captain before he polished off half his second cocktail and prophesied, "...And she's gonna fucking  _ love _ it." 

He may or may not have pre-gamed coming to the captain's quarters.

Cornelius knew which it was.

"So," Rami began as he sat comfortably back down, "how  _ is _ Julia? How are the animals? Her job? Her life? You know, I text her these things to get a conversation going and all she answers is  _ fine _ ."

Cornelius  _ definitely _ knew which it was. 

"Honestly, she thinks her life pales in comparison to your adventures, so that may be where your lukewarm responses stem from with her."

He pointed his finger repeatedly but had no response because the finger had done all the talking - he  _ knew _ it, he was just so damn remarkable and was certainly not being edged out of wonderful friendship with Cornelius's partner. 

Rami finished his drink once again with a certain finality: he was distracted; he was placated;  _ it was done _ \- until he was sober, that is, and wrapped up planning his lecture when the tide would have room to wash back in with its evidence of other lives lived. He certainly wasn't looking forward to that, the anxious thoughts and energy with little constructive outlet until the next adventure at a port of call. Without the many planned activities aboard the ship, there would be little holding him back from jumping off and taking his chances in the ocean; at least the danger would be fun, very much unlike this quiet, subtle sense of hazard they faced together.

Even though the captain successfully bottled up all his tension to the point where most people would mistake that it wasn't even there, Rami wasn't most people. He watched Cornelius finish his cocktail in appreciative silence but saw past the seemingly relaxed composure and knew it for what it was -  _ restraint _ . 

...But of course, they both had their ways of releasing the pressure.

"Hey," Rami spoke up again, " _ you _ make a drink this time."

"No seriously, just one drink was more than enough. As I said, I've got an early morning ahead of me tomorrow, and--"

"--I'm not talking about for  _ you _ ," he interrupted. "I mean for  _ me _ !"

Despite his objections as a captain, he knew that if Rami wanted another drink then he was going to get another drink regardless of what anyone else said, so he didn't waste much time weighing whether or not he should oblige his request. "Hmm, I only know vodka tonic..."

Instantly Rami shot it down. " _ Boring _ ."

"...Well, what if I made a new drink for you?"

"A brand-new, never-before-seen Captain Cruz cocktail  _ for me? _ " he exclaimed, and Captain Cruz wasn't sure if he was poking fun at his expense or not. "...DEAL!" 

Cornelius didn't know the full terms or conditions, but a deal was a deal and he started to mull over his options in the liquor cabinet. Of course, he wouldn't lose to Rami's practiced taste even if he had no idea how to go about doing so, and the pleasantly warm sensation of alcohol did nothing to hinder his competitive confidence. "Let's see," he thought aloud, "we just had Sex on the Beach, so..."

"Sex on the Boat?"

Cornelius paused because while he was certain that Rami was joking, he was uncertain that it wasn't a real thing. "Is that even in here?" he asked and handed him a bartender's recipe book.

"Hold on, let me check," Rami responded and began to leaf through the pages.

"Look for something with vodka if it's not," Cornelius instructed as he set out a few liqueurs as options before digging back into the cabinet. "I don't want you getting sicker than you're already going to be tomorrow just because you switched liquors."

It was a suggestion based on experience but of course, Rami ignored all that. "Hey, there's one called Buttery Nipple..."

"Let me see the recipe," he commanded and grabbed the book for himself but then Rami batted it out of his hands to the floor, stepping on it for good effect.

"That's  _ cheating _ ."

"Well, what was in it?"

"...Nipples."

The subsequent eye-roll was almost audible. "And, let me guess,  _ butter _ ?"

"You know that's a terrible idea."

" _ You're _ a terrible idea."

Rami laughed aloud, enjoying the sound of Cornelius's stifled snicker and the clinks the bottles made when he put most of them back into the liquor cabinet as if he had been struck with inspiration. 

"You've come up with something," he noted dryly.

"I have," he agreed with equal parts dryness.

While watching Cornelius pour, shake, and strain whatever cocktail he was making for him, Rami struggled to keep up and identify if this was actually based on a real drink or if he was just putting whatever the hell he thought of in there and using him as a guinea pig. Either way, he was curious and shot the captain an eager grin as soon as he slid the finished concoction over.

" _ Voila _ , the Captain's Special."

"How original," Rami remarked and swirled the drink vaguely around after taking a sniff. It seemed all right, and he didn't identify anything particularly strange while he watched him make it, but he also knew that it was amateur hour over in the captain's quarters that night, special or no special. "No name like Bottom Deck or I'm Gonna Throw You Overboard Rami?"

"I'd need a salted cream for that last one so maybe next time," Cornelius responded wryly as he cracked a smile. "Now are you going to drink up or what?"

Rami's eyes twinkled as he swung his arm away in an exaggerated gesture and said, "Now did I hear that right? Our fearless leader, the  _ ordinarily extraordinary Captain Cruz _ , is-" His hand knocked into Cornelius's empty glass but did little else but send it sailing an inch away. "-encouraging me, the  _ ruggedly handsome and dashing explorer _ , to drink MORE? As in-"

"I  _ can _ send you back to your cabin and pour this down the drain, you know."

"-MORE than this incredibly good-looking traverser of the lands and sea has already--"

Cornelius grabbed Rami's errant hand before it knocked into anything else and commanded, "Oh just drink already!" He pushed the hand with the cocktail close to Rami's face before both of them laughed, a small spill being a minor casualty.

Finally, he drank that damn drink, draining it about halfway before pausing with a pensive expression. If he minded that Cornelius's hand still laid atop his on the table then he didn't show it.

"Well?" Cornelius prompted as he gave a slight squeeze, clearly anticipating a review on his spontaneous creation. 

Rami took a few appreciative seconds before asking vaguely, "You seriously just made this up and haven't tried it yourself?"

"What does that mean? Of course I did." He was impatient. "Do you like it or not?"

"Try it."

Cornelius shook his head. "No, I'm done drinking for the night. This one was all for you."

"All for me," he mused and ran his thumb alongside Cornelius's finger. At this stage of  _ things _ , neither of them minded the contact, but it was always a question of how much pressure Rami needed to apply for the restraints to loosen further. "You know, once I finish this you'll have never known how it tasted - a fleeting moment of history, forever gone..."

"I'm fine with that," Cornelius answered, "as long as you tell me what you think."

There was a beat of silence in which Rami decidedly did  _ not _ tell him what he thought.

"So it's good, bad...?"

He downed the rest of the drink and declared as he set the drink down on the table with finality, " _ Gone _ ."

Cornelius's eyes narrowed in response and he attempted his best intimidating and interrogative stare.

While it worked on everyone else aboard the ship, Rami just brought his free palm up and shrugged in a manner specifically designed to be as grating as possible.

Whatever additional chip he added to break open the crack in Cornelius's walls this time had  _ worked _ : in a sudden and almost violent manner, Cornelius grabbed the front of Rami's shirt with his free hand and crushed his lips against his, pressing his tongue to part through without preamble.

Rami went with it as a rudderless boat rolled with the waves, carrying itself further out on the sea's whim. That is to say, he parted his mouth and let Cornelius's tongue slide in to gather as much as he desired. Their fingers intertwined and Rami freed a soft moan, thankful he didn't have to wonder how much longer he had to prod anymore to transition to this eventual part of the night.

It was an intense but not particularly long kiss as the captain did part from those adventuring lips, although keeping in a breath's vicinity. "...Not bad," he concluded, watching Rami gaze at his lips with some measure of satisfaction as he touched his jaw tenderly. "Not bad if I say so myself."

Rami gave an impish grunt in disagreement and added, "You can do better."

"Then let me do that tonight."

"You mean let me do  _ you _ ?"

When they would later finish acting out the unspoken feelings between them and Rami would unsuccessfully attempt to sweet-talk his way into staying 'til dawn, it would be the last time Cornelius rolled his eyes that night. But until then, Cornelius gave one more eye roll and answered with another passionate, unrestrained kiss.

...If only just to shut him up.


End file.
